Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
