It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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