im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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