Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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