I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
