What tipped you off? The sombrero?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
