I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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