Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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