Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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