She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
