I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
