I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
