He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
