i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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