I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
