So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize