She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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