i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
