just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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