I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
