I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
