it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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