We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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