you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
