Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
