I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
