no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
