Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
