guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
