Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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