If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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