I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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