This girl is more easily done than said...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize