last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
