And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
