Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
