I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
