So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
