i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
