is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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