so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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