i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
