So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
