those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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