Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
wanna go halves on a baby?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
