You work out of a Hotel?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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