the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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