Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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