Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
