i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
