Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i think i just lost a toe
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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