If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize