how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
