If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im holly from the hills drunk
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
