Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
