I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
