college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
