i just made my gag reflex go away.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
