wrigley field is MILF paradise
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize