I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
